Shady House Publishing Company proudly announces its one millionth sale!  It happened just after midnight on Smarch 31, 2010.  We had been drinking and discussing the faulty calendars we ordered dirt cheap from China.  

The title of SHPC's 1 millionth time goes to, Stink Fartface -- clearly a clever attempt by one of our super smart readers to hide their identity. --

Sales from the books have barely covered expenses, however, as SHPC hired the leftovers from Author Anderson to audit their books.  Ken Lay is in Hoam Rogh's bowling league and recommended the group of accountants, now known as Honest Numbers, Inc, to take a look at the corporate  books.

The good accountants at Honest Numbers, Inc. (DJIA: HNI 29.15 -0.04), found numerous errors and several pages of fire when they crunched SHPC's numbers.  HBI effectively doubled SHPC's revenue by brilliantly striking out expenses and replacing the word with revenue.

The march towards non-profit publication domination continues in lock step, almost goose-step, for SHPC.  Finding opportunity in loss, the new tranches of SHPC Credit Default Swaps have blown sky high.  Hoam Rogh decided to keep them in the company safe, the one protected by dynamite.  Fortunately, no clearinghouse exists to process the trades in the CDS market.  So SHPC unloaded their entire lot to The National Teachers Retirement fund.

"They won't even known what hit them,' said Hoam Rogh, getting onto a plane with a duffle bag stuff with wads of cash.

From all of us at SHPC, happy April Fools Day.

(Psst:  Hoam Rogh's new book -- the one that legalized marijuana on a federal level -- has a new proto-website up.  tell your friends.)

satanssmoke.us

Shady House Publishing Company is PROUD to announce the opening of their online store.  All your shady house product needs can now be purchased as easy as a few key strokes.  

Why read when you can shop!

   <click link above for store>

Credit Cards are accepted through the good people at pay pal.  The storefront itself is a great product produced by godaddy.com.  Let's hear it for them.  

Shady House Publishing Company will hopefully never be on a book store's shelf.  We have all our products at the home office in Peoria, IL.  We do not need <ugh!> consignment deals with corporate middlemen.  That job is taken!  Thanks pay pal and godaddy.com

Please enjoy your shopping from the comfort of sitting on your butt and clicking buttons.  We look forward to serving our customers' needs.

Shady House Publishing company is pleased to announce that we were cut!  Knocked right out of the running in the first round of Amazon's booky-wook prize.  #rd annual.  

"Finally," cheered J. Liam.  "I never thought I'd see the day where we'd be given such opportunity.  This is the first time as writers that we've felt that out there in desolation-ville vibe.  It should return us a 1000 percent give'r take a score or two."

Asked what the loss felt like Tom E. said, "Humility don't just happen.  You gots to learn it.  Keep working on what you're doing and remember the rule of the game: nobody knows anything."

The non-profit has not come close to the five thousand dollar threshold necessary to quality as non-profit status. They have no ideas on what's next.  When asked if they believed that to be a good plan of action, they asked what else I had to ask.  Just one question, I said.  Which way's the exit.  

They were not liars.  I will say they remain stedfast in making a non-profit publishing house.  But they just don't understand what it is that people read.  

They made some veiled reference about some get-rich quick scheme at lifebegins.us.

Shady House Publishing Company has totally revamped it's web-presence with the help of godaddy.com.  New additions to the site include the ability to incorporate contact forms, navigation elegance, and a calming new look.  

"We retooled everything," says Shady House Chairman, J. Liam.  "I came up with a new logo, we tweaked the old logo to make it more inviting."  The new logo blends many of the colors employed on the website to provide a more vibrant look.  Gone are the garish reds and grays.  "People could not close our site fast enough," joked J. Liam.

Not only has the look of the website change, but the entire company's structure has been overhauled.  "We're going non-profit," says Chief Council Tom E.  "The difference in the industry between profit and non-profit is huge.  We can now focus on making our works larger than words in ink on paper."

The company's new product, Retirement, will be a non-profit fundraising device to help generate cash flows to C.A.R.E.  A charity that provides medical clinics to the poor and uninsured Americans across the country.

"If we pull this off, it'll be really exciting," says Tom E.  However, trends indicate that the reading population is shrinking by the day.  "We're addressing that by figuring out how to make our books available to e-books."

"It's a great and hilarious story," says J. Liam.  "Our test audience loved it."  

But trying to convince people to read, or even buy a book has never been an easy task.  "If it were easy everybody'd be doing it," says Tom E.  "Yeah, tell that to Sarah Palin," chided J. Liam.

Shady House Publishing hopes to have their online store up and running within the month to sell their works.  But until then, check out their new website: www.shadyhousepub.com.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

"We're not doing this to get people to kiss our butts," says Tom E., co-found of Shady House Publishing Company.  The other founder, Jack Madashu, vanished in a Scottish Highland after reading their first product Life Begins...  The book has life changing consequences.  Interestingly enough the two never tried to market the book.  "They expect results in law school," said Tom E.  He quit all work on the company after forming the entity with his legal knowledge.

The book was written by a recluse who the pair met in college.  "Hoam Rogh was born the son of a Jew and Dutchman," said Tom E.  "He had issues."  According to Tom E., the guy keeps in contact with him over the Internet and his new book Retirement is due to be printed any day now.  

"We screwed up the first book.  Too much confidence, not enough diligence.  This time we start small.  We are printing galley copies to help see if anyone even cares about good stories anymore."  With readers turning to drooling and Funions with each passing day, the only hope for a person trying to navigate the 21st century is quickly becoming Hoam Rogh's delightfully addictive works.